Wednesday, November 9, 2005
Tuesday, November 8, 2005
the act recalled
keystrokes swam,
strangers exchanged,
to you and before me.
minds disclosed,
screens teased and seduced,
perceived and fabricated.
cultivated back and forth,
synchronized schedules,
morals and obligations up heaved.
abstract conceptions dampened,
emotions escaped by wisdom,
sibilations tainted with silence.
suppressed solidity within,
divergence of the minds,
the benevolence forged.
intervals repented,
endeavour vitality affirmed,
rehearsed the fantasy.
etched in time,
mysteries undisclosed,
glasses tipped and spilled,
curtains call the final act.
Monday, November 7, 2005
love letters
one of my favorite reads ...
ya gadda just love the art of writing love letters ... !
Elizabeth Barrett to Robert Browning…
January 10, 1846
Do you know, when you have told me to think of you, I have been feeling ashamed of thinking of you so much, of thinking of only you--which is too much, perhaps. Shall I tell you? It seems to me, to myself, that no man was ever before to any woman what you are to me--the fulness must be in proportion, you know, to the vacancy...and only I know what was behind--the long wilderness without the blossoming rose...and the capacity for happiness, like a black gaping hole, before this silver flooding. Is it wonderful that I should stand as in a dream, and disbelieve--not you--but my own fate?
Was ever any one taken suddenly from a lampless dungeon and placed upon the pinnacle of a mountain, without the head turning round and the heart turning faint, as mine do? And you love me more, you say?--Shall I thank you or God? Both,--indeed--and there is no possible return from me to either of you! I thank you as the unworthy may..and as we all thank God. How shall I ever prove what my heart is to you? How will you ever see it as I feel it? I ask myself in vain.
Have so much faith in me, my only beloved, as to use me simply for your own advantage and happiness, and to your own ends without a thought of any others--that is all I could ask you without any disquiet as to the granting of it--May God bless you!—Your B.A.
Sunday, November 6, 2005
beginnings
everyone has to start somewhere, that first real entry job into the labour force ... summer employment!
to protect the innocent, i removed the former employee from the picture, ‘cause the individual wasn’t six they were in their teens!
now when you are consumed with eassys, term papers and exams in uni .... look back and reflect ... and know you will reach your goal. see, you could be asking 'do you want fries with that', being a mascot - as one of the perks to the job, or thinking that you would enjoy the fetish of wearing the uniform instead of the actual job, or any number of alternative career choices!
remember when i told you, you always need a back-up plan ... well if all else fails ... use your previous experience and open up your own lemonade stand!
Saturday, November 5, 2005
wrappep up
do we get too wrapped up in looking forward to the future; that we go through the motions of today but really do not live this moment in time? perhaps being so absorbed in the past that today is lost?
like looking for that perfect love. you’ll never find it. you’ll spend your energy looking for an illusion. that perfect soul that you could not find in yourself, looking to find it in another?
looking for something better than what you could not correct with another in days gone by. was it the other that caused you discontentment and grief? when you were so discontented with yourself, could have that bred to the other?
when the other did not live up to your expectations, was it really your own expectations that were not met? you looked outward and funnelled your own disappointments and despair to the other.if you cannot live with yourself first, then how can another live with you?
if you cannot love yourself first, then how can you possibly love another? if you cannot see yourself who you are, then how can you clearly see others who are around you? if you cannot find peace within yourself, then how can others find peace around you?
if you try to find happiness through another, you will never find happiness yourself. when you can live alone, and truly enjoy your own company, only then can you live with another. when you find the calmness within, will that not radiant to others around you?
and that is where the joy, passions and the love will exploit themselves and spill on to the lives of others around you.just as when you have become so busy with looking for something better to come along. always off in some distant future. have you ever thought, just maybe what you are looking for is standing right there in front of you.
blinded by today. do you see what you have missed or are missing? you have missed a part of you, you yourself. you are missing today, this moment in time.
Friday, November 4, 2005
do you remember when
do you remember when you learnt how to drive, and i explained some important rules of using the car? and not that my thoughts came from experience, but mere sensibilities. that particularly in the winter, think twice about just wearing sandals and throwing a jacket over your jammies to run a quick errand. ‘cause if the car ever failed, and you had to get out of the car and flagging for help ... strangers tend to look at you funny and friends seem to have a good laugh.
so what does this have to do with anything? well this morning i went for a quick errand, and stopped at the convenience store. there was this woman there, who picked up a stratch lottery ticket. she won $50.00. happy was she. almost just as happy when this noticeably good looking man congratulated her, and then suggested that she buy him breakfast. she was very much tempted. and almost even more so, when he said, because she hesitated, maybe it was more appropriate for him to buy her breakfast. she turned him down. odd i thought. but as it turns out, under her jacket she was still in her jammies, and didn't think it would make a very good first impression. how sad is that.
moral of the story, say yes to breakfast and tell him you will meet him there in half an hour. should give you enough time to run home and change.
i’m going to add to this ... another thing to remember later in life ... is check your shoes before you go out.
i remember, this woman telling me about her two darling children. ... she was in a rush to take them to an out of town bowling tournament. in the panic to get ready, she asked the children to find her shoes. how nice, they found her shoes, she put them on and ran out the door.
day went on. she was so proud of those two, on how well they played. then, in-between games, she went outside for a breath of fresh air. she was chatting with other mom’s and couldn’t figure out why there was the odd suppressed giggle or look. and dunno what made her look down at her feet. runners all right. two different colours. about all she could do is point down to her feet and explain that she had an mirrored pair at home.
oh ya, those two darling children thought it was funny.
Thursday, November 3, 2005
i thought of you
i thought of you.
way back when.
rendezvous.
walks in the park.
drinks in the darken lounge.
middle of the night escapes.
java on the bench.
notes left.
and this poem ...
Love Sonnet XVIIby Pablo Neruda
I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving but this,
in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.
Wednesday, November 2, 2005
i've blogged today ...
someone in this house keeps on asking if i’ve blogged today. i keep telling them i have nothing constructive to say today. they keep telling to blog anyway; to write about anything, nor does it have to have any academic thought.
now i ponder the art of magic.
is it better to have things disappear or appear?
is the illusion misleading or a perception?
the illusion,
is it there in the first place,
to be able to disappear or wanting it to appear?
‘nough, now i can tell them, yes i’ve blogged today! just like, yes virginia there is a santa claus.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Friday, October 21, 2005
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Friday, October 14, 2005
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Sunday, September 4, 2005
Friday, August 12, 2005
Friday, August 5, 2005
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Friday, June 24, 2005
Friday, May 20, 2005
Friday, May 13, 2005
Friday, April 15, 2005
Friday, February 4, 2005
Friday, December 24, 2004
Friday, December 17, 2004
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Friday, December 10, 2004
Friday, December 3, 2004
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Friday, July 23, 2004
Friday, July 2, 2004
Saturday, June 5, 2004
Monday, March 1, 2004
Wednesday, December 10, 2003
Monday, November 10, 2003
Friday, October 3, 2003
Thursday, May 22, 2003
Friday, March 21, 2003
Saturday, February 15, 2003
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